


I’m Way Too Good at Goodbyes

by GreenMnM



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: A #byeFelicia fic, Drama & Romance, M/M, Reggie is a good bro, Songfic, Unrequited Love, platonic kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 02:41:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12949548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenMnM/pseuds/GreenMnM
Summary: What do you do when you've been hurt many times, but you can't say goodbye? Jughead says just pack your bags and leave.





	I’m Way Too Good at Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by Sam Smith's Too Good at Goodbyes.  
> I hope you enjoy it~  
> ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨

_You must think that I’m stupid_

_You must think that I’m a fool_

_You must think that I’m new to this_

_But I have seen this all before_

Jughead ignored the stinging pain in his chest. He watched the seen before him play through the glass doors. He felt so dirty watching this, but he thought that the filth could help wash the pureness of his feelings. He wanted to look away, it was as if his eyes were burnt by fire, and the reaction was to move away. Move far away from the person that warms his cold core. But his feet were planted to the floor, it seemed to love the torture he was getting. The slide of Grundy’s hands made his heart feel like a push pin. Each second their kiss lasted was like a pin prick.

He was angry. He felt betrayed. But like all the other times, he didn’t say anything.

_I’m never going to let you close to me_

_Even though you mean the most to me_

_'Cause every time I open up it hurts_

_So I’m never going to get too close to you_

_Even when I mean the most to you_

_In case you go and leave me in the dirt_

He would never say anything about how he feels. Even as he confronted Archie about his affair with Grundy. Even as he stood there listening to Archie justify his relationship with the music teacher, to justify abandoning him to be with her. Archie admitted to hearing the gunshot, and that he would stay silent to protect Grundy. He argued hoping that he would get through to his friend, but to no avail everything hit a brick wall. He watched the man he loves explain his side and then threaten him. He was devastated and he knows it was wrong of him, but he pushed back. He was so angry at that time, and he knew that if he continued to stay he would say something that would hurt his best friend. He decided to just leave, but before he did he said, “I used to know this guy, Archie Andrews. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried to do the right thing at least.” He felt disappointment and pain. Archie changed, but he never did. He stayed the same.

_But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry_

_And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry_

_And every time you walk out, the less I love you_

_Baby we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

_No way that you’ll see me cry (No way that you’ll see me cry)_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

He stayed the same person since the moment he figured out that how he felt was more than platonic. Betty was the same as him. Jughead watched from afar a conversation between the blonde and the redhead. They looked perfect for each other. The cheerleader and the quarterback. They would look great as Riverdale’s power couple. If it happened, he could be happy for them. Maybe.

He went back to writing his novel, but then after a few moments, Betty ran past him. She was crying. It felt like rejection to Jughead. He felt bad for her, and wanted to run after her. However, he might say something along the lines of she’s not alone. So, he decided not to.

That night, he sat at Pop’s staring at his laptop. The blue glow from the screen illuminated his face. He heard the door open and saw Archie come in. He looked distressed and at a loss. He was searching for someone inside the diner. Jughead both hoped it was him and someone else. When those brown eyes landed on him, he sat still. They made a few seconds of eye contact. One set of eyes was unsure if he’s welcome, and the other was just waiting. The redhead went to sit across him, and all he wanted to do was pull him into a hug. He talked about losing his best friend.

That was like a stab through his heart. His best friend’s Betty, not him. Maybe it was just wishful think that their relationship was more that simple childhood friendship.

He decided to act as if there wasn’t that much to it.  He gave him advice to just talk to Betty and for sure it would go a long way. The redhead seemed unconvinced. So he said, “It went a long way with me.”

_I know you’re thinking I’m heartless_

_I know you’re thinking I’m cold_

_I’m just protecting my innocence_

_I’m just protecting my soul_

What else would have gone a long way with him and Archie? He thought as he laid down on his makeshift bed in the closet under the staircase. It was sort of ironic of how he’s literally living in a closet. It’s funny when you have so many bones hidden inside one, it won’t be long until you get swallowed up by it too.

His living conditions had gotten bad to worse, and no one noticed. Not even the person he’s closest to. If the stairs caved and crushed him, no one would have known until they see the body. He turned to his side as he wondered how Archie would react. He scoffed. He would probably be too busy making out with some random girl from school.

He can’t really blame anyone who wants to kiss those lips.

He himself had a one chance encounter with those rosy lips. It was just a stupid thing guy friends do when they grow up. Experimenting on each other was normal, but at that time he wasn’t normal. He took advantage of his friend’s exploratory phase. They could have explored more had that trip happened. But it didn’t, and he isn’t someone to dwell too much on what ifs.

It hurts less that way.

_I’m never going to let you close to me_

_Even though you mean the most to me_

_‘Cause every time I open up it hurts_

_So I’m never going to get too close to you_

_Even when I mean the most to you_

_In case you go and leave me in the dirt_

He just got off the phone with his mom. She finally said yes for him to come live with her and his sister. It was good news, but why did he feel so miserable? It must have shown a lot on his face that even Reggie Mantle had asked what’s wrong when he happened upon him in one of the classrooms. He tried to make a jest out of it, and just said, “Guy problems, Reggie.” He smirked, but the football player had a look of sympathy on his face.

“Look, man, if he’s fucking with your head, you don’t deserve him.” He gave him a pat on the back, and he wasn’t sure whether it was that action or shock, but his tears burst like a damn. “Let it all out, man.” When he thought the level of surprise couldn’t be raised further, Reggie gave him a comforting hug.

Once he calmed down, he lightly pushed the other to sit up straight. “Sorry, Reggie. I don-”

“Hey, man, no worries.” He gave him a pat again then scratched the back of his neck. “I have a gay cousin. He got stuck in this weird relationship with this closeted ass wipe. He attempted suicide a week ago, he’s okay but it was pretty jarring, you know? We’re pretty close growing up. So, I thought maybe I can reach out to someone to thank the higher power that saved him.”

Jughead smiled at him, “Thanks, Reggie.” He said genuinely at a person he never thought would extend a helping hand to him.

“So, what did this guy do?”

“Well…” He sighed, he can’t say much so he has to be very careful with what he’ll say. “I like this guy and he’s a bit of a playboy.”

“Okay, a manwhore.” Jughead chuckled. “You and him are an item?”

He shook his head, “We kissed once, but no. No, I don’t we’d ever will have that chance. We never talked about it after. He’s straight.”

“Should have given him the D, Donnie Darko.” They both laughed at that. “My cousin said no one’s completely straight. And this especially applies to ones who actively participated in a kiss with a dude in secret.”

“I don’t know, you’re a straight guy, Reg. Would you tell people you kissed a gu-” Would multiple shocks in one day stop your heart? It seemed that today of all days, Jughead’s brain was getting shock therapy. Reggie just kissed him. “What?!”

Reggie stood up and opened the window then as loud as he can, “YO, BITCHES! I’M STRAIGHT AND I KISSED JUGHEAD FUCKING JONES! THAT’S MANLY YOU LITTLE SHITS!” Jughead’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and Reggie smirked at him. “I’m secure of my sexuality, ‘sides what’s more manly than fucking another guy?”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes, Reg.” Jughead rolled his eyes smile still in place.

“Whatever, man, but listen. Bitches like that guy of yours ain’t worth your brain cells. You’re better off someplace else, suck faces at the beach with some exotic tanned dude.” He shrugged and Jughead shook his head. “All I’m saying is, if he wants to be with you, he’d treasure you. Sorry, man, but he doesn’t.” He patted him on the shoulder as he passed him on the way out. “Hey, if you wanna talk, you know where to find me.” With that he disappeared.

“Sorry, he doesn’t? Even someone who doesn’t know the whole thing is saying that.” He looked out the window in silence then thought about the beach.

After class, Archie approached him while he was putting books in his locker. “Jug!” He stilled as the redhead stood next to him. “You free later? Let’s go to the diner.”

“I can’t I have something to do.”

“You’re meeting up with Reggie?” He just stared at him to figure what he’s getting at. He looked a bit nervous. “So, you and Mantle, huh?”

“Me and Reggie?”

“Hey, it’s cool man, I heard he broadcasted you guys kissed.” He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt and looked away from Jughead. “That’s nice, I’m really happy for you guys. It’s unexpected, but yeah.”

“No, we’re not going out. He was just being a good friend.” He was hurt for some reason, and he wanted to be scathing. “Friends kiss each other, right?”

Archie snapped his head to look at him. His face got red he doesn’t know whether it’s from anger at his comment or something else. But that one look allowed him to come to a decision.

_But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry_

_And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry_

_And every time you walk out, the less I love you_

_Baby we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

_No way that you’ll see me cry (No way that you’ll see me cry)_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes (I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

After he said goodbye to his friends, he turned to leave then set out to the bus stop. He sat on the bench as soon as he got there and awaited for the bus to arrive. He scanned the area with his eyes. They were few people there, most of them had family with them. They looked as though they just cried. Goodbyes are always painful, he thought. A couple arrived and the woman looked sad as she held her boyfriend’s hand. He had to look away from them, it hurt to see something like that.

As soon as he turned away, Archie Andrews came into view. He looked breathless and flushed like he ran just to get there. “Archie, what are you doing here?” He asked confused as he stood up.

“That’s it? You ask me why I’m here?” He looked so hurt saying that then he breathlessly said, “What the fuck, Jug?” He wiped the tears that escaped his eyes. “I don’t even get a heads up? Don’t I deserve that? Something?” Jughead just stood there watching him air out his feelings. He didn’t know what to say, nor how to react. Frankly, never in his creative and active imagination did he picture such a thing to happen. “I mean, c’mon, man! Veronica just moved here and she got, what, at least two weeks of notice? You don’t just leave without saying anything, and then expect your friend, or at least I believe I am, to not get their feelings fucked!” His features changed to anger. “So, you still want to know why the hell am I fucking here?”

“Your feelings got fucked over?” Jughead’s control over his caged emotions was waning, he sounded bitter. “Don’t worry, Archie! Those will fade quickly as always.”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” He closed the distance between them and he grabbed Jughead’s collar in spite. “What do you fucking know about my feelings?” He yanked him a couple of times, and got into his face.

“That you don’t have any for me.” Jughead just left himself at the mercy of those hands. He combed through his bangs as he thought about it. He was already leaving so he might as well leave with a bang. Or bruised face. His heart has been beaten up over and over so there wasn’t much left undamaged. “I’m in love with you, Archie. I watched you parade a string of girls in front of me. It’s too much for me because I know I’m never going to be with the person I care about the most. I’ve spent years imagining what it would be like to be in your arms. That’s all I could do, but I can’t just be your friend anymore. I want something you won’t be able to give me.” He pushed a stunned Archie away from him, “I have to move on, Archie, this is me moving on.” He grabbed his bag and hopped in the waiting bus. He refused to look back, and forced himself to look forward.

This time, it was Archie that watched him. He didn’t feel any satisfaction, but at least once, he can say that it happened.

_No..._

_(I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

_(I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

_(No way that you’ll see me cry)_

_Oh..._

_(I’m way too good at goodbyes)_

His phoned chimed. As he read it, it felt as though his heart started to beat again after a long time.

_ I don’t want you to move on because I can’t move on. I won’t be able to move on. I’ve always wanted to be with you, too, but I was afraid. I was afraid of what others might think of me. I struggled with my identity. I also was afraid that you would reject me, I won’t be able to take that and be normal. _

_ So, I tried to forget about you. I tried and failed so many times. You’re incomparable, Jug, and I’m sorry I never saw that I caused you pain. If I hurt you so much that you can’t forgive me, I’ll let you go. Even if I don’t want to, I would understand because I don’t deserve you. I will love you forever, Jughead. I hope you’d have a better life. _

Jughead sat back and blinked back the tears. “Who’s hurting who now?” He muttered to himself. He looked out the window to watch the bus pass numerous pines.

_‘Cause every time you hurt me, the less that I cry_

_And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry_

_And every time you walk out, the less I love you_

_Baby we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true_

_I’m way too good at goodbyes_

Archie let his tears flow as he walked back to his home. He just watched Jughead leave, he probably deserved it. After all the bullshit he put Jughead through, it was justified. Suddenly, the sole of his shoe detached, and he tripped then fell on the pavement. He sat with his back hunched and he tried to dry his face with his sleeve, but the tears won’t stop flowing. He sobbed and sobbed. The idea of what he could have had with his best friend cut him deeply. And because of his fear and inhibitions, he lost all his chances. He checked his show and saw that there’s not point to fix it. He yanked it off and threw it. “You fucking stupid idiot!” He grabbed his hair in frustration, maybe if he pulled hard enough the pain will come out.

He suddenly felt a warm familiar hand on his back, then another gently disentangled his hand from his hair. “Talking about yourself?” Archie froze and didn’t look behind him, his voice felt like a kiss. He turned around and engulfed Jughead in his embrace. He wept on his chest.

He wept for many things for the happiness he’s feeling at that moment, for another chance, and for a new start. Most of all, he wept for not having to say goodbye.

-=END=-

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~   
> ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡


End file.
